MARY AND JOSEPH

1. I once read about a father who was told his son to climb a step ladder.

2. When the child got on the top step of this ladder the father said, “I want you to jump.”

3. The dad stretched out his arms and said to his son, “I will catch you; jump.”

4. The little boy jumped but his father didn’t catch him.

5. The dad intentionally moved out of the way so the child hit the floor.

6. The dad said, “Let this be a lesson son; don’t ever trust anyone. Don’t even trust me.”

I HOPE THIS YOUNG MAN CAME TO REALIZE THAT HIS FATHER’S ADVICE WAS VERY WRONG. TRUST IS SUPPOSED TO BE A PART OF LIFE. IN BOTH THE PHYSICAL AND SPIRITUAL REALMS THERE IS A NEED TO HAVE TRUST.

A. One of the places where we read about trust is in the lives of Mary and Joseph.

B. Most know that there is not a lot of information about Mary and Joseph in scripture.

C. The information that we do have teaches us some things about trust.

D. A little while ago we heard a few verses read from Mt. 1.

E. Jesus and Mary were engaged.

F. The word translated “betrothed” meant “promised in marriage.”

G. In our culture when people get engaged this means that they take themselves out of the dating pool.

H. People make a commitment that says “I have selected you to be my mate.”

I. In Hebrew culture the depth of the marriage promise was much greater.

J. Those who got engaged could only end the plans to marry by applying for a divorce.

K. In this culture people didn’t break an engagement by giving back a ring.

L. They didn’t contact the other person and say, “I changed my mind.”

M. Things could only be ended by a formal process.

2. Before the final step in the marriage process was completed Joseph got a surprise.

3. He found out that Mary was pregnant.

4. Joseph knew that he was not the father of Mary’s baby.

A. Mary’s pregnancy put Joseph in a difficult position.

B. People would have known that he and Mary were to be married.

C. This couple was from an area that was not that large.

D. If people learned that Mary was pregnant during the engagement people would have talked.

E. According to the text (verse 19) Joseph was a “righteous man”.

F. He was someone who tried to do what was right and live a life pleasing to God.

G. When people learned that Mary was pregnant they would draw some false conclusions.

H. People would have thought that Joseph was not righteous.

5. Joseph had some things to think about.

6. This is why verse 20 says he “thought on these things.”

7. The word translated “thought” is an interesting term.

A. Outside the New Testament this word described a business man.

B. Some business owners “thought” about their livelihood.

C. That is, some gave so much attention to their businesses that their businesses grew.

D. This word suggests that Joseph thought about this matter and thought about it a lot.

E. We might envision him thinking about Mary’s pregnancy day and night.

F. This was a matter that kept his mind preoccupied.

8. Joseph finally came to a conclusion.

9. The end of verse 19 shows that he planned to end his relationship with Mary.

10. He had either made this decision or was close to this point when an angel intervened.

BEFORE CONTINUING WITH THE ACCOUNT IT IS WORTHWHILE TO MAKE A PASSING OBSERVATION.

A. Joseph knew about the pregnancy and he was certain that he was not the father.

B. This man did not immediately decide to terminate his relationship with Mary.

C. He “thought” on the matter.

D. He must have had at least a little trust left in Mary.

E. Whatever the amount of trust we know that it was greatly increased.

11. The end of the 20^th verse says that an “angel” appeared unto him.

12. This angel told Joseph that everything was okay.

13. His fiancé was pregnant but the baby had been fathered by the Holy Spirit.

14. Mary had not been unfaithful.

A. Joseph was to stay with Mary and the two of them would have a son (Mt. 1:21).

B. God already had a name for this child (Jesus).

C. This was a fulfillment of prophecy (verse 23).

15. Joseph trusted this angel.

16. Verse 24 – READ.

17. Someone has called this passage the greatest act of trust between a husband and wife.

18. This may be an exaggeration but it is definitely an illustration of trust.

A. There is no indication that Joseph questioned the angel’s appearance.

B. This is no hint that he grilled Mary about the information he had received from the angel.

C. Mary had information given to her about the pregnancy and she accepted it.

D. She had faith.

E. Joseph was given similar information and he accepted it.

F. In this relationship there was a type of trust on both sides.

G. Mary had to trust that Joseph would learn about the pregnancy and not leave her.

H. Joseph had to trust the claim that the baby was fathered by the Holy Spirit.

I. These two people also evidenced a great deal of trust in God.

19. WHEN WE THINK ABOUT THE LESSONS THAT WE CAN LEARN FROM BIBLE COUPLES ONE OF THE GREATEST TRUTHS IS THAT THOSE IN A MARRIAGE MUST LEARN TO TRUST EACH OTHER. THIS IS TRUE IN MANY OF OUR RELATIONSHIPS BUT IT IS ESPECIALLY TRUE IN MARRIAGE.

A. I know of some couples that do not trust each other.

B. A lack of trust in the home does not lend itself to a happy environment.

C. A lack of trust creates extra work.

D. Without trust there is unnecessary worry.

E. Doubts and suspicious can be constant.

F. If those who are not married do not trust each other the marriage will either be unstable or fail.

G. If there is no trust there is no relationship.

20. Someone may say, “How can we build trust?”

21. “How can we become more trusting than we currently are?”

22. Here are some suggestions.
In order to produce trust couples must learn to fight fair.

A. If we deal with people who are unfair that leaves us with a bad experience.

B. Those who are married deal with their mate on a regular basis.

C. What happens if during times of disagreements we inflict as much pain as we can?

D. What happens if during times of disagreement we do not use integrity?

E. It doesn’t take too long before trust is gone.

F. The way that we handle disagreements either builds or erodes trust.

G. If a mate feels like he or she will always be attacked that does not contribute to trust.

H. Thus, to build trust those whose who are married need to handle disputes in a way that is fair.

23. # 2 – trust comes by transparency.

A. Most spouses are not mind readers.

B. If our mate knows what we are thinking it is because we tell them.

C. Being able to share feelings and express our thoughts builds trust.

D. Keeping things to ourselves limits or hinders trust.

E. Honest and open communication is a trust builder.

F. This may also be thought of as “self disclosure.”

24. # 3 –Trust comes through deeper levels of communication.

A. People communicate at different levels.

B. In marriage there is a very basic level of communication.

C. We might ask about supper plans; how a child is doing school; the work day.

D. These conversations are necessary but they are not huge trust builders.

E. Spouses need to seek deeper levels of communication.

F. An example of this is Mary’s pregnancy.

G. This was a major issue.

H. If this couple was able to talk about and trust each other on this, what about other things?

I. Trust is like a bank account. Those who are married go to the bank each day.

J. We can make some small deposits or some large deposits in our marital bank account.

K. We make contributions or withdrawals by how we handle things & by how we communicate.

L. For trust to be built we want to limit our withdrawals and make some big contributions.

M. We do not build a huge bank account overnight. The same is true of trust.

N. It grows little by little.

O. # 4 – trust is established by telling the truth.

P. # 5 – Trust comes by keeping our word.

Q. In Mt. 1 Joseph was told the truth.

R. What he was told turned out to be accurate information.

S. Today the truth plus the keeping of our word builds trust.

T. Joseph had promised to marry Mary and he kept his word.

25. The importance of trust is indicated by Mt. 19:9.

A. When Jesus spoke about marriage and divorce He was very restrictive.

B. He said that those who divorce are not permitted to marry again unless fornication is involved.

C. In a case such as this only the mate that is NOT guilty of fornication may remarry.

D. Jesus limited divorce and remarriage to people who have an unfaithful mate.

E. Why did He do this?

F. The text does not state a specific reason.

G. As we look at the Bible the implied answer seems to be trust.

H. Fornication in a marriage is a gross violation of trust.

I. This violation is so great that it allows people to get a divorce and marry again.

26. For a time Joseph’s trust in Mary was seriously shaken.

27. Because Mary was pregnant he planned to end his relationship with her.

28. This tells us that those who want to get married must realize the importance of trust.

29. Those who are married must continue to build trust in their marriages.

30. Trust between parents and children is also essential in a family.

31. One of the contributing factors to building trust is Christianity.

32. Those who are Christians know all about trust because they trust in God.

33. Those who are Christians are committed to building trust.

34. How is our level of trust both in our home and in our relationship with God?

35. Do we trust God enough to obey Him and always remain faithful?

36. The ideal marriage is one where both parties trust each other as well as God.

37. Is this what we are striving for?