Types of intimacy

1) Perhaps one of the most popular sites on the Internet is Wikipedia (the pronunciations vary).

2) This is a free multi-lingual encyclopedia that has over 2 million entries.

3) It is also a resource that a wide variety of people are encouraged to contribute to.

4) The project was started in 2001 and now involves hundreds of scholars and scientists.

5) “Wiki” is Hawaiian for “fast.”

6) This is a resource designed to quickly give people the information they want.

7) It is like an gigantic library that offers up instant information.

8) This past week I decided to consult this resource on the subject of intimacy.

a) Someone wrote an article that has some excellent observations about this topic.

b) A writer suggested there is “emotional intimacy,” “physical intimacy,” and “intellectual intimacy.”

c) I want look at these three areas from the standpoint of Christianity and then close out this study.

9) Emotional intimacy is typically associated with two key things: trust and communication.

a) It is possible to trust someone but not communicate with them.

b) It is also possible to communicate with someone and not trust him or her.

c) Trust plus communication results emotional intimacy (a unique bond between both parties).

10) Someone has defined emotional intimacy as “unbridled self disclosure.”

a) If this is what emotional intimacy is, we can ask whether or not this is what Christianity offers.

b) Is it possible to have emotional intimacy with God?

c) Some would not hesitate to say “yes.”

d) For many, emotional intimacy with God means jumping over pews and shouting “hallelujah.”

e) That type of activity is emotional behavior, but it is not emotional intimacy.

11) For emotional intimacy to occur, both parties must be involved.

a) Since Christianity involves God, our study of this subject probably best starts with Him.

b) Has God offered emotional intimacy to man?

c) Has God revealed Himself to man? Has God come to man with both communication and trust?

d) If He has in the past, are these two things still available today?

12) When we think about emotional intimacy several things are involved.

a) A person is sharing his or her feelings, opinions, hopes, fears and frustrations, etc.

b) Let’s see if we can see find these things coming from God.

c) We know from Jn. 14:9 that Jesus said those who “saw Him” had “seen the Father.”

d) In other words, what we find in the life typifies what the Father is like.

13) If Jesus were emotionally intimate with man, we can expect such to also be true of the Father.

14) This is a necessary conclusion because to see Christ is to see the Father.

15) Was Jesus emotionally intimate with man—this is the question we want to answer.

a) Consider these references.

b) In Mt. 26:38 Jesus told some of His disciples His “soul was exceeding sorrowful.”

c) The anguish was so overwhelming Jesus used the word “death.”

d) That sounds like some pretty deep and personal information to share with someone.

e) It certainly fits in with our definition for emotional intimacy (trust plus communication).

16) At a little earlier time Jesus instituted the Lord’s Supper (Lk. 22:15).

17) On this occasion we again see trust and communication again coming from the Lord.

18) READ Lk. 22:15.

19) Here is a second example of emotional intimacy.

20) We also find this type of closeness in the gospel of John, Jn. 15.

a) Sometimes people come right out and express their love for someone.

b) In other cases this is not done, done almost too late, or happens after an opportunity has been lost.

c) Jesus specifically told His apostles that He loved them.

d) Jn. 15:12-14 – READ.

21) At various times in the Lord’s life it was as if He bared His soul to the disciples and others.

22) God has put forth the efforts needed on His side for emotional intimacy with man.

a) If God has extended this to us, what about our having emotional intimacy with God?

b) Emotional intimacy is possible. It was even possible before Jesus came to the earth.

23) We know this because of Ps. 34, a text that will be the only other passage read for this lesson.

24) A verse that really stands out in this Psalm is verse 8.

25) At the start of this passage the writer (David), said, “Oh taste and see that Jehovah is good.”

a) There is some background to this particular Psalm that is important.

b) There was a time in David’s life when he appeared before Ahimelech (1 Sam. 21).

c) David was fleeing from Saul and he needed some food.

d) He received the food and also requested a weapon (he received the sword used by Goliath).

e) According to 1 Sam. 21:10, David then went to see the King of Gath.

f) The people of Gath were not enthused about seeing David and that began to worry David.

g) To get out of the situation David pretended to be insane (1 Sam. 21:13).

h) He scratched on doors and let spit flow down his beard. David successfully escaped (1 Sam. 22:1).

26) It is against this background that Ps. 34 is written.

a) Let’s start with the first verse of Ps. 34 – READ.

b) David said he would “bless Jehovah at all times.”

c) God had delivered him so David affirmed in this Psalm his readiness to praise God.

d) An emotional bond existed between this man and deity.

e) This passage also affirms that this bond existed “at all times” in David’s life

27) An emotional bond between people can last for a short time, a long time, or a lifetime.

28) When we think about emotional intimacy with God, we want to and can create a lifetime bond.

29) This is our goal, but this bond can be challenged at times.

a) Notice verse 4 – READ.

b) This is an interesting verse in view of the background that was just explained.

c) If we just looked at this verse, it sounds like David had an emotional bond and it was never shaken (tried).

d) When we look back to 1 Sam. 21, we have some additional information.

e) David pretended to be a crazy man; there was apparently some reliance on self.

f) When we think about emotional intimacy, this type of bond can have high points and low points.

g) This is also true in the spiritual realm.

h) We want to form the tightest bond we can, but there are times when it can become a little frayed.

30) A continuation of the thought is in verse 6 – READ.

a) The “poor man” is David. He went to Gath and he found that he was in some trouble.

b) He felt like his life was in jeopardy but He turned to the protector of His people.

c) He says God “heard” him.

d) Here is another example of communication and trust.

e) Emotional intimacy with God is something for all times—the good and the bad.

31) Forging this type of relationship is a very valuable item.

32) Let’s skip down to verse 10 – READ.

a) “Young lions” sometimes “lack” (they do not have enough food).

b) Lions can be fierce, cunning and strong in their youth but sometimes they are hungry.

c) God’s people, however, find fulfillment. Part of this fulfillment is emotional intimacy.

d) People appreciate relationships where they can communicate with someone and trust that person.

33) This is especially true with children; they look for someone who they can trust and who will communicate.

34) Guess what we find in Ps. 34:11? A reference to children.

a) David was a warrior and king, but he was not afraid to teach young people.

b) What did he teach them? 11b – READ.

c) Children may be taught a lot of things; some items are important and some are not.

d) One essential part of their education is trusting and fearing (respecting God).

e) They should be taught about seeking an emotional and intimate connection to heaven.

35) When we seek an emotional level of intimacy with God (trust and communication), some things happen.

36) One consequence is concern about how we speak: verse 13 – READ.

37) An old preacher said “we cannot spit poison without feeling some venom burning in our flesh.”

38) Emotional intimacy with God means a changed life and is also one means of accountability.

a) We will communicate to God the times where things went well and times where we have failed.

b) We trust Him to forgive when we repent and trust in His grace to let us grow more in the future.

39) Emotional intimacy with God is also related to verse 14 – READ.

a) There are many forms of ”evil” in our world.

b) It has been said that Christians should “avoid the lion’s lair and the viper’s nest.”

c) Emotional intimacy with God means we will make careful choices about our actions and decisions.

d) What we do and who we are with will become some of the most important decisions we make.

e) We will be pursuing a different way of life as the end of verse 14 says.

40) If we choose this course, God will be in fellowship with us.

41) David affirmed this in verse 15 – READ.

a) Emotional intimacy with God is a good thing.

b) When there is trust and communication between Him and us, His “eyes are toward us.”

c) His “ears” are “open to our cries.”

d) Choosing a different path results in a different consequence – verse 16 – READ.

42) If we have emotional intimacy with someone they can understand our most difficult times.

43) This is precisely what we find in this psalm – verse 18 – READ.

a) Verse 19 is also important – READ.

b) Do the righteous suffer? Yes, and they can suffer a lot.

c) This is one of the reasons emotional intimacy (trust and communication with God) are so important.

d) Many of the greatest Bible characters in the Scriptures trusted God and had frequent communication with Him.

44) Trusting and communicating with God also has an eternal benefit – verse 20 – READ.

a) Life can be a real battleground for people, especially the people of God.

b) David looked at life and realized that whatever comes our way, the injuries will not be permanent.

c) In eternity all tings are healed.

d) At the very end of this psalm we find that God “redeems the soul of His servants.”

e) Emotional intimacy with God offers huge rewards; is that what we have in our lives?