“HONOR THY FATHER AND THY
MOTHER” (EX.
1. For our scripture reading, we heard two texts- Ex. 20:12 and Eph. 6:1-2.
2. These texts, as most of you know, were not written to the same people.
3.
Ex.
4. Eph. 6 applies to us.
5. As children, we are to honor our parents. Under the OT system…
6. Tonight’s lesson has 3 points to it:
A. Why are we to honor our parents?
B. What does honoring our parents include?
C. What does honoring our parents exlude?
I. GOING BACK TO WHY WE SHOULD HONOR OUR PARENTS, I WANT TO OFFER SOME BIBLICAL AND NON-BIBLICAL REASONS AS TO WHY HONOR MUST BE GIVEN.
A. I will first start with the non-Biblical reasons.
B. Parents endure a lot when they raise children.
C. No matter how good a child is, there are some trying times.
1) Just last week I had a policeman come to our house.
2) I happened to be walking by the window when he pulled into the drive.
3) As I saw this man I wondered, “I wonder who he wants to see”.
4) I opened the door, and the officer asked to come in.
5) Apparently there had been a scuffle at the bus stop.
6) This man’s son had been involved.
7) Beth was not involved, but the officer wanted to know what she had seen.
8) I am sure that this officer didn’t appreciate playing detective.
9) What happened at the bus stop was an embarrassment to him.
D. This man’s experience is not unique.
E. I know of a member of the church who raised three children.
F. At least 2 of this woman’s children were arrested and taken to jail.
G. When this happened, this sister was trying to be a good Christian.
H. She had a good reputation in the community.
I. Her children embarrassed her.
J. I know of no parents who can say, “We were never embarrassed by our children”.
K. Embarrassment is part of being a parent.
L. Children can do more than embarrass parents.
1) Offspring break things- sometimes expensive things.
2) Children can also wreck things.
3) As I grew up, I was in two auto accidents with our family car.
4) Neither account was my fault.
5) These accidents were a great inconvenience to my parents.
6) In addition to what I have listed, children make messes- big messes.
7) Children sometimes make costly mistakes—
a). They may play with matches and burn down the house.
b). They may lock everyone out of the house.
M. If these things are not enough to establish the fact that parents deserve honor,
1) Children need to be fed, clothed, and cared for.
2) There are cavities that need to be filled.
3) Body parts get broken; surgeries are sometimes needed.
4) Children get sick for a day or two and need mom/dad to care for them.
5) Some children have bad teeth and parents buy them braces.
N. Children may not realize it, but parents go through a lot.
O. It is no easy chore being a parent, no matter how well a child behaves.
P. Because parents put up with what they put up with,
Q. God said: Honor your father and your mother.
R. This commandment makes good sense in light of what has been said.
S. This commandment also makes good sense in light of scripture.
T. There are some Biblical reasons as to why we need to honor our mothers and fathers.
U. One of these reasons is in Eph. 6:1 – QUOTE.
1) There are some things in life that are simply RIGHT.
2) This is one of these things.
3) Honoring one’s parents is right, good, correct, and proper.
4) This has always been true of parents and older people.
5) Lev. 19:32—READ.
6) Not honoring one’s parents is sinful, wrong, and damning.’
7) To demonstrate this, I want to read from the OT and the NT.
8) For the OT reference I will read Ex. 21:15-17. READ.
9) The death that is spoken of was to be by stoning (Deut. 21).
10) Refusing to honor one’s parents under the OT law was serious.
11) Under the NT law, honor one’s parents is just as important.
12) Hear what the NT says about people who do not honor their parents.
13) The first reading will be from Rom. 1:32, 30. READ.
14) 2 Tim. 3:1-2—READ.
15) Paul said that grievous times would come.
16) Men would be doing things that violate God’s will.
17) Being disobedient to parents is listed as one of these violations.
II. HAVING ESTABLISHED THAT HONORING ONE’S PARENTS WAS AND STILL IS IMPORTANT, LET’S GO TO POINT #2—WHAT DOES THIS “HONORING” INVOLVE?
A. From what I can determine, this wording is comprehensive.
B. Honoring parents means that we meet their needs & show respect.
1) Let’s say that our parents retire.
2) They get involved with Social Security and Medicare.
3) Though our parents are trying to make ends meet, (not squandering),
4) They cannot pay their bills.
5) Honoring our parents would mean that we help them.
6) This is really the principle found in 1 Tim. 5:4, 8.
7) Paul spoke of widows who needed help & he said, QUOTE/READ.
C. Refusing to honor one’s parents by means of financial aid makes one equal to an infidel.
D. There are financial obligations that we may have to our folks.
E. Money is certainly not our only area of responsibility.
F. The day may come when our parents can no longer live by themselves.
G. Some children take their parents into their homes.
H. My parents did that, and after that experience they said to me:
I. “Don’t you ever take us.
J. We don’t want you to experience what we experienced.”
K. This is their wish and we will abide by that.
L. If & when my parents reach the point where they need outside care,
M. My sister and I will be responsible for that.
N. This is another of the ways that children honor their parents.
O. Honor can also come by children helping their parents with chores.
P. We might open the car door for them; carry in the groceries.
Q. As children, we are to learn how to respect our parents in:
R. Thought, in word, and in action.
S. If they do not need our help right now, then we can:
T. Let them know that we care about them right now,
U. And at a later time when they need help we can give it.
V. I realize that there are people in the world who had bad parents.
W. There are parents who physically and emotionally abuse children.
X. There are parents who do not give adequate care to their children.
Y. If you grew up in a home like this, honoring parents may seem repulsive.
Z. I have spoken with people who said: my parents were scum.
A. If what I was told was true, they were right.
B. God did not put any kind of clause on this commandment.
C. He did not say, “Honor your parents if they were good”.
D. Honoring bad parents may be one of the hardest things in life to do.
E. Yet it can be done little by little (gradually).
III. HAVING SHOWN WHY PARENTS NEED TO BE HONORED, AND HAVING GIVEN SOME EXAMPLES AS TO HOW THIS HONORIGN CAN BE DONE, LET’S GO TO THE THIRD POINT: WHAT DISHONORS PARENTS. HOW CHILDREN CAN VIOLATE THE COMMAND TO HONOR AND OBEY THEIR PARENTS.
A. In our day and time this commandment is violated again and again.
B. Paul said in Eph. 6:1—QUOTE.
C. The word obey in this verse is important.
D. This word indicates obedience that is quick and full.
E. If a child is to clean his room,
1) The room should not be dirty two hours later.
2) Neither should the room be half clean when the child goes out to play.
3) Obedience is to be full and fast.
4) Prompt and complete obedience is honoring mother and father.
F. In our day and time, honor and obedience are dying out.
G. In some families children tell their parents what to do.
H. Children try to “negotiate” deals with mom and dad.
I. Children in some households have as much authority as the parents.
J. This kind of arrangement is unhealthy, wrong, and sinful.
K. Parents are to be in charge.
L. Children are to honor and obey their parents.
M. So many times, this is not the way that it is.
N. Parents say something and then the children talk back (smart off).
O. Or, a parent tells a child to do something and the child complains.
P. The child hopes that enough wining will make the parent back down.
1) If a child is told to do something that is good and right,
2) There is no place for begging or pleading.
3) That is not the time for negotiation.
4) From the Biblical perspective,
5) That child needs to obey what the adult said.
6) That obedience needs to be swift and comprehensive.
7) Sadly, there are parents who lack backbone.
8) There are parents that allow their children to whine and complain.
9) At times, this complaining turns into a temper tantrum.
10) When children are allowed to carry on like this,
11) Many parents throw up their hands and give in.
12) As a result, the child does not do what he/she was told.
13) I am no child psychologist.
14) I have not raised a household of children.
15) I do know that God is pretty informed about child rearing.
16) God is the best authority that we have on this subject.
17) God has said that parents are to be in control.
18) Children are to be obedient to their parents.
19) If a child refuses to behave, a swat is in order.
20) More than once the book of Proverbs endorses spanking.
21) Spanking is not child abuse; it is not leaving bruises.
22) It is not drawing blood or crippling a young person.
23) Proverbs describes a good swat or two that stings.
24) The child knows that he/she has done something wrong.
25) Within 10 minutes or so, the effects of the swat are gone.
Q. Children have got to be taught respect for parents.
R. Unfortunately, this respect is not always considered to be important.
S. I see from time to time children who hit adults (presumably parents).
T. Maybe adults think that this type of behavior is cute.
U. It isn’t.
V. Hitting people shows a lack of respect.
W. We do not hit people that we respect, do we?
X. I cannot imagine any parent allowing themselves to be hit if:
Y. They are trying to teach their children respect and obedience.
Z. Respect and hitting are as opposite as black and white.
CONCLUSION:
1. If you have children, teach them to respect and honor you and other adults.
2. This is right. This is God’s standard.
3. If you are a child, learn to love and respect mom and dad.
4. When you are told to do something, think of Eph. 6:1.
5. That verse says to “obey your parents”.
6. The word “obey” means that you do what you are told as fast as you can.
7. To have a healthy family, this law of God must be followed.
8. If it is not being followed in your home, tonight is the time to change.